Waking up early in the morning. Getting lunches and breakfast prepared. Next comes getting little ones dressed and if time me too. "Mommy cuddle please" comes from a small voice, but there is too much still to do.
Next up is chores for all ages, firmly telling them no playing until they're done. But then after all the nagging to get it done it is time for school. "Mommy play please" but I brush past with workbooks and such. This has to come first I say. I barely catch the hurt on their face at the rejection, but this is more important, we have a schedule to stick to.
Before I know it lunch is upon us "mommy can I help please" but I find an excuse why, once again today is just not a good day. I hurry up and tell them to eat before nap time comes. But they are having fun being kids and take so long that by the time they are finished it is time to rest.
Finally a break... except bills need to get paid and there are plans for tomorrow that need to be made. And before I know it I hear little feet coming to see me all excited. "Mommy come see please" but I'm not done with the schedule so I tell them in a sec. That second becomes two hours. Three times they come in wanting me to see but I am preparing fun for them tomorrow so I can't. Eventually they move on to a new thing.
By the time I finish it is dinner time and I am exhausted. Now come the snaps and short temper as I rush to find something for dinner. I was so busy I forgot to prepare dinner. Hot dogs it is, but since they had those two days ago they are reluctant to eat. "Mommy feed me please" but I am mad at the fact they won't just eat and the dishes are piling up and need to be done. I rush them with harsh words and once they are done get them ready for bed.
I read one a book and still have two to go, and I am so tired, but I keep going. "Mommy sing one more song please" but I don't. Still more to do and the list just keeps growing. Finally all of them are in bed. Finally the day is done. It was a good day, an accomplished day, like yesterday was, like tomorrow will be. They are growing and learning and thriving so I am doing good. For a moment I remember all the "mommy pleases" that we're asked and ignored. But I brush the guilt away. The devil whispers to me, you're busy, not bad...
Let’s face it, being a mom is the hardest job in the world. Especially in this world, where things just keep getting worse as society pulls away from their Savior more and more. When I wrote “You’re busy not bad” I cried and cried as the words of my heart spilled out. In fact every time I read it I choke up. There is so much truth in the saying “If the devil can’t make you bad he will make you busy”.
Things have gotten better since writing it, but now new things have popped up in its place. I constantly have to fight off new threats and attacks from the devil. For example, while I am writing this, or should I say trying to write this; my sweet and loving husband not only wants to be in the room tonight but also wants to talk! I have to laugh at the devil’s attack because part of me wants to tell him to get the heck out or at least stop talking to me. Can’t he see that I’m writing and it takes concentration? Hahaha, the devil is a constant thorn in my side. But I have grown since writing this excerpt. Want to know how?
This past year was brutal for me! I’m getting real with you for a second. I had prayed for 2018 to be my most joyful year yet. Well you know that old adage, “I asked God to bless me with patience, but all He is doing is giving me situations that test my patience.” Well apparently that was true for experiencing my “most joyful year yet”. God tested me, He tested me to the brink with situations where I had to seek out my joy and remember it needs to always be in the Lord. We had more illnesses and health issues than ever before and with ALL of us. We had major stress issues with the concern of my husband and his job. And homeschooling was just not happening like it had the first year.
So despite all this negativity I have been searching for, the joy of the past year that I missed while going through everything was overflowing with it. What I discovered was I found so much joy in just being with my kids in 2018 that the busy me literally died. Don’t get me wrong, I fought it tooth and nail all year long. It is only looking back now that I can see the awakening that God did in my heart. My kids learned a lot, not tangible material, but experiences. We explored the mountains of Georgia, Briseis cooked meals from around the world, their daddy taught them about the powerlines and how they worked, gymnastics was restarted, and more! All the while I got to enjoy watching them learn and seeing the wonder that they saw in things.
For a type AAA person this year was hard for me because I had to accept not being busy. Now don’t get me wrong, I was busy, but in a holy way. See there are things on this earth that are not supposed to be sinful. Food, exercise, organization, planning, schedules, hobbies, social media (ouch) are all things that God wants us to have and enjoy. The problem is that the devil gets in there and corrupts God’s gifts for us. If you eat the wrong types of food and too much of them, the devil has succeeded in taking something God wanted us to enjoy and turns it against us. The same picture can be used for being busy. Listen carefully; being busy is a GOOD THING! I’ll say it again; being busy is a good thing. It is when we become so busy in the wrong things that the devil starts to corrupt us. God wants us to live our life, every day to the fullest; but He wants us to do it in the right way and for the right reasons. Being busy because you made breakfast with the kids, then went to the beach and while there learned about jelly fish (that had washed up on shore), come home and have a water hose fight with the kids to get the sand off, followed by dinner outside while talking about bees and how they help the flowers, and lastly having your children drift off to sleep while you are singing to them. Well that is the kind of busy God wants us to have.
Our God is a loving God and tells us exactly what we need to do to be busy in a way that pleases Him. It is very simple, ready? He says to let Him order our steps for the day. Let Him guide us through his busy and you will find peace, beautiful peace. Your children will always remember the busy, but which busy? The busy that made them feel brushed off and pushed aside or the busy that was so joyful that they remember how much you did with them. So take today to ask God to order your steps and bring you a busy that will grow and strengthen your family. A busy that allows the home to feel safe and comforting at the end of the day. Chose to be busy WITH your children not just FOR them.
In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps ~