IF I WAS YOUR ENEMY, I'S SEEK TO DISINTEGRATE YOUR FAMILY AND DESTROY EVERY MEMBER OF IT. I'D WANT TO TEAR AWAY AT YOUR TRUST AND UNITY AND TURN EVEYONE'S LOVE INWARD ON THEMSELVES. I WOULD MAKE SURE YOUR FAMILY DIDN'T LOOK ANYTHING LIKE IT'S SUPPOSE TO. BECAUSE THEN PEOPLE WOULD LOOK AT YOUR CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE, YOUR CHRISTIAN CHILDREN, AND SEE YOU'RE NO DIFFERENT, NO STRONGER THAN ANYBODY ELSE - THAT GOD, UNDERNEATH IT ALL, REALLY DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING.~ Fervent
It is a scary kind of knowledge, knowing there is someone out there trying to do this to you and your family momma. What is even scarier is knowing that this enemy never rests, never eats, never sleeps; he is unrelenting in his cause to destroy everything you have work so hard to create.
The devil almost got away with this when we first moved into our new home. Things were BAD! Lance and I were constantly fighting and it was getting worse every time it happened. The kids were becoming timid and walking on egg shells. Our family was being broken down and was on the verge of destruction. Had it not been a friend of mine and her love for me and my family I don't think we would have made it. She gave me a book titled, Created To Be His Help Meet. It was a hard read but I discovered what the devil was doing and how to fight back and it saved us.
Don't get me wrong. It still takes a conscious effort to keep the devil out of our home. But just like anything good that was designed by God, it is a constant battle to win against the attacks of the devil. Even as recently as this very minute the devil tried to weasel his way back into our home. But as these attacks come and I win with Lance by my side, we become wiser to when the devil is trying to advance and can be quicker to lean on God.
So, where is the devil attacking your husband and you (if married)? Where is the devil attacking your child(ren) and you?Where is the devil attacking your extended family and you? Do you think your relationship with your husband and extended family has any hidden attacks towards your children and you in it?
We need to fortify the lives of those we love. There are no "buts" to this. Because there may be family (husband, extended family) that you don't love but that your children DO and unless it is an emotional or physically abusive relationship you are required to forgive. Strengthen the family, the more cords that intertwine with Christ in the middle, the stronger that family will be against attacks, against hardships. You will have a generation of VICTORY warriors!
Since we know the devil is behind the attacks, stop fighting those people and bring the fight to the real enemy. There will always be disagreements, but the devil is the one that needs the power the Holy Spirit has given us, fired into the places where he is slithering about, not your family members.
Step 1: Fight FOR Your Husband Instead Of Against Him
Gulp! We must learn to be respectful and submissive to our husbands for OUR CHILDREN'S SAKES. This is a hard role to play since as mothers we tend to act like lionesses when anything involves our children, running the house and yes even the finances. We must do this because are children are watching how we act towards our husbands. They are learning how to give love (if you have daughters) and how to receive love (if you have sons). We must think in the long picture. Would we like it if our daughters treated the little boy down the street as we sometimes do their own father? Would we like our sons taking a beating from the bully down the street that happens to be a girl since they see their own father beaten down constantly? In our hearts we know that answer very well. Fighting alongside our husbands FOR our marriages consists of the following:
I. (In case you haven't guessed it) Prayer: We must pray for our husbands! Pray and give thanks for them. Pray and ask to be forgiven for the wrongs you have caused him. THEN, we pray God changes our husbands' hearts to seek God relentlessly. We pray for the areas that are under attack. Because with God on our side WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS!
II. We PRAISE the good: All the time mommies. If we constantly are praising the good aspects of our husbands then our children's love for their father AND for us will grow because the Christ like seeds of who our husbands are will pass to our children TENFOLD! Leave the negative things to God's doing because ONLY HE can fix what is broken.
Proverbs 16:23-24 - A wise person's heart controls his speech, and what he says helps others learn. Pleasant words are like honey from a honeycomb - sweet to the spirit and healthy for the body
Ephesians 4:29 - Don't say ANYTHING that would hurt another person. Instead, speak only what is good so that you can give help WHEREVER it is needed. That way, what you say will help those who hear you
Step 2: Fight FOR Your Children Instead Of Against Them
Satan is after our children! We must not allow him to run roughshod over our children. We must fight for them and with them. Satan knows the parts of their characters - both their strengths and weaknesses - where he can worm in and try stunting their growth, their potential, and their confidence. Watch for these strengths and weaknesses. Know when and how to nurture the strengths and how to fight against their weaknesses. Fighting alongside our child(ren) FOR our relationship consists of the following:
I. Prayer: We need to pray FERVENTLY for our children. Their very souls are at stake. They are already being schemed against and attacks may already be happening. We need to take action now. We need to pray God amplifies their strengths and defends these attacks.
II. Pray with them: We need to start teaching them now how big OUR GOD is, because let me tell you, the devil is not going to wait a second longer to make his attacks look like he is the biggest thing out there. If they have nightmares, if they fear something, anything negative is mentioned we can not AFFORD to blow it off and tell them it's nothing. Pray with them, let them know our Savor died because He loved them that much, so of course He can and WILL take the fear away and replace it with peace and comfort.
III. Bonding: This is probably going to the be the hardest area since some of us have jobs, others have more than one child. But doing things with our children, being involved COUNTS FOR EVERYTHING! Even if it is as simple as a walk to the park or a movie, or go big with date nights, go small with reading a book to them before bed. And be consistent with it! I say this for our own good, because if we do this our children will literally crave it and want it to continue. They are being attacked so show them God and you are not afraid to fight back and keep WHAT IS YOURS! Our children are "like arrows in the hand of a warrior (yes, we are those warriors), we raise them up to shoot them out into the culture, bearing the image of Christ to the world (Psalm 127:4)
Isaiah 8:18 - Behold, I and the children whom the LORD has given me are for signs and wonders in Israel from the Lord of hosts
3 John 1:4 - I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth
Step 3: Fight FOR Your Extended Family Not Against Them
We must realize the real enemy at work here. As I am writing the devil is pissed and is even making my computer glitch. LOL. Tough! Our extended family whether non believers or not, may be feeling attacked themselves by the devil; or even intentionally or unintentionally participating with the enemy's design against us. It does not excuse us from the seeds we may be planting in our children by our words and actions on these members. So what to do? Fighting alongside our extended family FOR our relationship consist of the following: (But before I begin this part we need to know that this area is the 'highlight" attacking spot. He can do more damage with less effort by attacking us here, within these relationships than in any other area)
I. Prayer: I can see it on some of your faces now, do what?! But our extended family allows the devil so many avenues of attack. I know this from personal experience. If we fight with one person it can lead to fighting with our husbands and/or children. We must pray for them in the same manor we do our husbands and children. The areas under attack, the parts that are broken, we must ask God to heal and repair.
II. Forgive: I see it again, "Christen you are not serious? If you only knew what I go through!" Hey, don't get mad at the messenger, lol. God calls us to forgive, not forget, not pick up where we left off, not act as though everything is fine and dandy (because it isn't but that's okay you are praying God heals those areas and you have faith He will answer you). We do it … and listen very closely to this … we do it so WE can move on, so we don't hurt, so we don’t have the anger and anxiety anymore. Okay, well how do we forgive someone that has us so furious and so anxious and so
… lets face it PISSED OFF???? Read on and you will see.
III. Move forward: Last we need to move forward. We need to be cordial to these family members for the sake of our children. They may adore the person you can't stand. We are doing them an injustice by putting them in the middle of our issues. They will have plenty of issues of their own, with their own spouses, their own children, their own extended family, their own relationships… but that one is for a later discussion. Don't allow your troubles and hurts to be shared with your children.
Colossians 4:6 - Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.
The enemy who's intent on disrupting the peace in our homes doesn't flinch when we try to force our own fixes upon it, but HE DOES start worrying when A WIFE, A DAUGHTER, A SISTER, A DAUGHTER-IN-LAW starts avoiding the noise at the periphery (remember we need to keep our identity, our focus, and our passion on our calling) and starts making some noise of her own, RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOOR TO THE DEVIL'S WORKSHOP! Get ready to go to war FOR your family!
Romans 14:19 - Pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another ~