Mommies, there is something we need to talk about and it isn't the elephant in the room. It is the monster in the room. This monster is a nasty beast that seems righteous and justified to be in your home, but I can assure you he is the opposite.
Last night I allowed this monster back into our home. My husband and I were debating over something simple on the surface, but see this monster in the house is a burrower. And as we discussed the topic at hand this nasty creature began to claw at my mind. With long nails that hooked at the end, like a lizard, and scratched at the surface until at last it reached deep into my mind and squeezed, this monster took hold. And do not be fooled this monster has a companion with it that started to attack my husband.
As we were both trying to make our points heard I began to think about how I feel I am never right. I began to feel like my husband only wanted me to validate his decision and that is seemed that way all the time. I began going back through time and I couldn't remember the last time he told me in a "ah ha" moment that I was right. I began to get angry at him for never letting me be right (by the way this started over not agreeing if our daughter should read a book in bed before going to sleep). I began to hate him right then and there because he wouldn't consider that I was right. The monster began to sink deeper in my mind and take control over my emotions as he began salivating at the mouth, it dripping from his razor sharp teeth. The monster was getting stronger, the monster was enjoying these emotions, he was hungry for them. All the while is the loudest but nicest sounding voice. He remained persistent in telling me I was right and not to back down.
Now, I can't read my husband's mind or even begin to know 100% what is going on in his head. But my guess is that the monster's companion was all over my husband. With a tail like a scorpion it pierced my husband's mind. It began to fill his mind with the toxin of superiority. After all he was the man of the house and leader of the family. His monster filled his head with this toxin to the point he felt his head would burst. I'm sure my raised and high pitched voice that was growing louder by the moment was doing nothing to help. As things progressed the anger in him began to rise, his monster now had him distracted with his mind and with one bite hit his target... my husband's heart. Feeding off the love my husband had for me for its quick "high", my husband's eyes changed to a look of loathing and spitefulness. Yet this monster keeps telling him the same thing, "She needs to back down, she needs to chill out, she needs to listen and stop looking at me like I'm an idiot".
As the battle between my husband and I hit its climax and I said things (just as I'm sure you have too) that I regretted I remember thinking, "Why can't it just stop?" Now, don't get me wrong mommies, my husband has many qualities. He is loving father, he is a gentle husband when I am a loving bride, he is a hard worker and worrier that he never does enough for his family, he is handsome as all get out (yes, I may be biased, but he is). But, he struggles to back down from anything, including a disagreement. But I have a fault too; I know when something is a losing battle and then I want to stop the battle by walking away or shutting down and if I don't get my way WATCH OUT, because my temper is going to explode.
This may not be your case mommies, I'm sure for some of you it isn't. But this is something my husband and I do struggle with.
My husband last night wasn't the monster or monsters in the room. No, he was the man I vowed to love, respect and submit to. He was the man I said I would stand by and cherish even if we disagreed. Now, before I go on, my husband made similar vows. I am not saying he is excused from his behavior. But at the end of the day, when I stand before God (not my husband) he will ask me how did I love for Him. How did I honor my vows towards my husband. Anyway, back on topic. The enemy in the room was not my husband, it was the monsters in the room. See the elephant in the room is big but quiet, the monsters are small but very very loud. They are also very very good at their jobs.
Last night their jobs were simple. To break into our unguarded home and divide and destroy the home. I have no idea if our yelling woke the kids last night. I pray it didn't, but these monsters still succeeded in their task. My husband and I went to bed divided and destroyed. There is only one force on earth that wishes this, one monster that stands above the rest to accomplish what happened last night to the entire world. He is the one that hides in the shadows and wants to stay that way so you are blind to him and lash out to the loved one you can see. Satan was behind it all last night. Every last part of it. And the monsters? Well those were his minions, mine was superiority which used me to get to my emotions and blinded me to wisdom; my husband's was probably self-doubt which used him to get to his insecurities about being a father and blinded him to humility.
Mothers our children are watching us (again, really hoping last night they weren't). They are learning what a marriage should look like. Your daughters are learning how to treat their future husbands from you. Your sons are watching you to see if they want to be married to someone like you. I promise your husbands have the same burden to carry. As mothers all we can do is be a wife that our daughters want to become and that our husbands want to marry. It is hard to not let those monsters in our homes. It is hard to learn to stand down. It is hard to take the time to write a letter to your husband regarding the issue so that your emotions aren't attacked by the enemy. We have to learn to lead our emotions instead of letting them lead us. Because when I am standing in front of my Lord I yearn to hear him say, "Well done, you loved your husband well, you were as Jesus was to his church." but I digress, that post is for another time.
So love your husbands well mommies, your children are watching and so is your Lord. And for heaven sake be intentional to shut the spiritual doors of your homes to keep those cursed monsters out!
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against rulers, against authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. - Ephesians 6:12