All In Good Time

Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6)

     This verse is one most mothers know. The comfort it brings to us as we navigate raising our children is a peace only He can offer us. An assurance of sorts, though not a promise, it's a principle. God tells us that as mothers, when we raise our children in the way they should go usually they will know Jesus as their LORD and Savior in the end. I have clinged this this scripture verse for years in times of hardship with my three children. How often have I heard one of them do or say something opposite to God's word and the enemy jumps in my mind. He whispers in my fear, "They won't make it. They will reject Him. Just listen to what they said. You should panic.". Have you been their mother? Times like these I cling for dear life to this verse praying in hope it comes to pass.
     But what happens when we, as mothers, start getting other things told to us? Things that are not so easily shaken off or brushed off? As a mother of three children all within three years it can be easy to fantasize about doing other things than being a mom. Don't get me wrong I LOVE being a mother. I was called to this purpose, there is no doubt. However, that doesn't mean I don't have other dreams and wants. I do, and I know you do too. But if I am being honest, I have dreams of grabbing coffee with friends on a weekly basis, going shopping... daily (?), lol, my husband would not like that! How about laying out at the pool or beach doing absolutely whatever I choose? Those are good ones, right? What about when friends and mentors urge you to join their Bible study or fellowship group? That's really good, right? How can it not be, it puts God first, right?...

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Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. (Psalm 127:3-4)

I think we may have gotten it wrong

     God tells us that our children are like arrows in the hands of a warrior. Do you know what it takes to make a good arrow? Building Wood ARROWS - Start to FinishYouTube · Clay Hayes13 minutes, 34 secondsOct 15, 2022 Here is a link if you want to watch the slow, painstaking, delicate process. It is not as simple as picking up a stick and putting a notch in it and attaching a head and feather. The hardness of the wood counts, the smoothness, the straightness. Have you seen anyone hit a bullseye with a warped arrow, butchered feathers or a dull arrow head? Not likely. 
     Well if our children are arrows then we should be raising them in the same manor. We should be living life with them. Here is what I mean. I recently was taking time out of my schedule to do a precept class as well as a disciple class. I was told this would be putting God first. The problem was, both of these groups didn't just require a block of time weekly to meet, they also required daily work that went with it. And the work was awesome! Growing closer to God and His word are always good things. However, that doesn't mean I was putting God first. In these commitments I found more and more of my time being used for study (or lack there of as time went by due to stresses of an overfilled schedule. Stress paralyzed if you will.). I was spending less and less of my time doing life with my children, pushing them out of my life. My balance of putting God first was tipping in a dangerous direction. Today I realized this as I was having my quiet time with the LORD.
     I realized that God knows I want badly to study His word and make disciples. But He also put on me that I was forcing this to take place outside of His timing. I saw from looking to my past that I was forcing my children out of my daily life. In a flash I saw those toddler years flash by as I stupidly enrolled my youngest into homeschooling at age FOUR! How I had rushed getting him into schooling and wasted the last couple years to let him just be a kid with no responsibilities. There is lots more, but I'm not going to go there today. At that moment I was in jeopardy of repeating myself and having regret and guilt.
     So, what did I do? I listened and obeyed God. I was not about to continue to force my children out of my life with so little time left with them. (Even as I write this I am outside with them as they use every food container I have to make terrariums for... baby lizards, female lizards, a giant male lizard, a grasshopper, tons of frogs and a cricket!) Immediately I felt His peace come back over me after praying for confirmation. 

So why?

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The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. (Proverbs 29:15)

     Pay close attention to the second part of this verse. "...but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. If we as mothers are off doing our own thing, even Godly things and not discipling our children we are at risk of not being trustworthy with what God has gifted us with. This is in no way to shame any mothers. I just want to open your eyes to what it means to live a God first life as we raise our children. By doing life WITH them we are in turn putting God first by being good stewards with what He has entrusted us with.
     So that leave us with the question, well what about these other things we want to do, even Godly things? Wait. I can not stress this enough, WAIT. Because here is the thing. When our children decide THEY no longer need to do life with us daily we will mourn. Or at least I know I will. Just as I mourn over the absence of small pitter patters of unsure feet and words that barely qualify as words, I will mourn when they no longer have the need to do life with me. Gone will be the days of evening walks together, drives to the ball field together, making dinners together, reading books snuggled up on a couch together, schooling together, family fun nights together and so much more. I will be in mourning. It will be a bittersweet accomplishment to loose my arrows out into the world. I will be happy but it will be quiet. In their daily absence I will need the fellowship and studies of God's word to help me keep going. The day will come, I just need to be patient. I just don't want to push God's timeline and look back on that day and think, "Why did I rush them out of my daily life?". 

Something to ponder

     So ponder this mothers. Times are changing. The bond between a parent and child is breaking. Did you know the website r/regretfulparentsReddit · r/regretfulparents139K+ followers? This site allows you to "hate" on your child(ren), it is very hard to read some of the things said. God made us to disciple our children so when they are older they can do the same. Somewhere along the way we have lost this message. Could it be we have too many voices telling us how to parent and how to put God first that the noise has made us over stimulated and deaf to the Truth? I think so. 
     If you have anytime in your busy schedules and enjoy to read or listen to an audiobook I can not recommend the book Until the Streetlights Come On: How a Return to Play ...Amazon.comhttps://www.amazon.com › Until-Streetlights-Come-Bri... This book, using data collected over the years, will help you regain the simplicity of living life with your children. I can not recommend it enough. It gave me back God's perspective of how simple life should be in putting God first while we raise our children. The day will come when precept studies and disciple groups and fellowship are ready to be had, but I urge you to wait. Wait until God's timing comes. All in good time, it will come.

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." (Proverbs 16:9)